I am a little torn on this one. On one hand it might be hard to rub a website on your junk, but on the other hand, if you could, you might want to use Google. I think maybe rub this on your junk. I wish there was a way to be certain.
Oh and Happy Thanksgiving.
Please do not apply fire to your junk. This should go without saying, but some people just don’t get it. Do not put fire on your junk or your lovers junk, unless it (they) are covered in bees and then, for God’s sake do something! Anything!
Rich, creamy cocoa butter is something that you do want to put on your junk. Not only is it rich in antioxidants and low in theobromine, it is excellent for moisturizing dry and chapped skin. If you find your junk to be dry and/or chapped, you might want to apply a little cocoa butter to it. Even better, have someone else rub it on for you [insert winky face here].
Do not put fire ants on your junk. Do not put them on your arm. Do not put fire ants near your legs. Just don’t go near fire ants at all. In fact, if you know a way, kill every fire ant you see. Kill all you do not see. Just kill them. No one liked them. Not even birds. I asked a bird once and he told me he hates them and they shouldn’t be allowed to go to the same schools as normal ants.
In honor of the imminent release of Iron Man 2: The Movie here is Iron Man. Do not put Iron Man on, in, or around your junk. Although he is not actually made of iron, Iron Man is still very hard and might bruise your junk. He also is equipped with rockets feet (can burn junk) and repulsor rays (can repulse junk).
Be careful that when you watch Iron Man 2 on May 7th not to get any Iron Man near your junk.
It’s time for the first do of this site: Scarlett Johansson. Please apply her liberally to your junk whenever you are feeling stressed. This applies to ladyjunk as well as manjunk.
For more information about Scarlett, please visit another website.
Tomato sauce is delicious in moderation, but it smells awful in bulk. When I smell a lot of tomato sauce, I want to start vomiting all over the place. If you have ever been sprayed by a skunk, you know the horror of being coated in tomato product. Image that, but only on your junk. If the sauce is hot, that is just asking for troubles!
(Note: If your S.O. has an interest in licking warm sauce off of your stuff, might as well give it a shot just once. Then break up with them.)
A brown bear! If you are applying this brown bear to your junk you have more issues than this blog can handle. I politely request that you seek professional help.
Following the trend of things that are yummy and food, we have hot soup. This hot soup will burn your junk something fierce. Have you ever burned your tongue on hot, hot soup? Ever felt the skin peeling back as the liquid dances across your taste buds? What could that do to your junk? I bet it is unpleasant!
Have you ever gotten tabasco sauce in your eye or a cut on your tongue? Now imagine that on your genitals.